Anger Management Vs Behavioural Change
One of the most important things I need to state is that “men’s behaviour change” is not the same as “anger management”.
One of the principles of the Heavy M.E.T.A.L program is about unravelling the myths and excuses passed on from earlier generations that men have adopted as being the “norm” to justify their anger. The word anger is used to disguise the behaviour which is in fact abuse. Anger is only a feeling, and it is ok to be angry, just like feeling sad, happy, insecure, jealous or excited etc. The problem is in how you express the feeling.
Often I have heard men state “I had enough”, “I lost it”, “I blew my stack”, “it was a knee-jerk reaction” and those on the receiving end of such behaviour also support this perception by describing the man as being bad tempered, or just like his father or brother and having a short fuse. These perceptions suggest the idea men cannot manage their anger, but fails to recognise that men’s behaviour can be violent and controlling when they are not angry or non-violent even when angry.
So, why do I use the term “Anger Management” on the home page of this web site? Anger is a term that most individuals can relate to and has been a label our society has used to make sense of men’s behaviour.
A label so profoundly adopted by the media that when most men or women are searching for help they use this term in searching the Internet for help. Hence how you most likely came across this web site.
What terms did you use to find this web site? If you typed in something different, then please let me know by email. Regardless of how you got here, you have found us.
My service is for men who find themselves caught up in a cycle of behaviour that they and others see as anger and abusive. Men who want to change old behaviours that leave others feeling frightened, intimidated, walking on egg-shells or women/children who are fed up with carrying the responsibility for such destructive behaviour will find the services I provide beneficial.
Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any concerns with the content of this site or any suggestions you would like to share.
David Nugent - Anger Management Counsellor