What changes have you noticed in your partner since doing the program?
"He has changed in so many ways - mainly he is respectful towards me and I feel safe with him."
"I have noticed that he listens to me more, lets me explain how I'm feeling instead of just listening to his. He is also making more of an effort to control his anger and is able to acknowledge if he is getting anger and then control it."
"He thinks, he listens! Time outs are great (he goes for a walk). Asks if I'm OK. Refers back to notes."
"He seems to “pause” and think before he responds when we have disagreements."
Phase 1 Term 1 2007 - Anonymous
"He has more controlled and is less angry and sensitive to things I might say, He does not bite back a easily. His coping mechanisms are a lot better."
Phase 1 Term 1 2007 - Anonymous
"He is able to deal with a little more pressure than he could before. He does not blow a fuse or erupt as quickly as he used to. I am looking forward to him doing phase 2."
Phase 1 Term 3 2007 - Kate from Warrigul, Victoria
"He manages his anger. He talks to me about his feelings, which helps him to stay level headed. Well worth it to strengthen your relationship and help with communication."
Phase 1 Term 3 2007 - Marie from Epping, Victoria
"I have noticed changes in Kevin when having constant support. Reduced yelling which plays a lot with my head.
I believe for every women who finds herself in my situation, which seems never ending, would appreciate their partner doing this course. Baby steps but hopefully with time it will happen. A video that was shown during the program was an eye opener for Kevin. He said he saw himself for the first time."
Phase 1 Term 3 2007 - Kylie from Wonthaggi, Victoria
"His eyes have begun to open and the defences that blocked communication are crumbling."
Phase 1 Term 3 2007 - Pia from Burwood, Victoria
• More patience
• A lot calmer
• More open about his feelings
• More understanding
• More committed to communicating effectively
• Manages stress, anger & frustration more effectively
Phase 2 Term 1 2007 - Anonymous
"He has stopped making everything all about him. He is a better husband because he is more aware of when he starts his abuse and stops very quickly."
Phase 2 Term 1 2007 - Anonymous
"I have noticed HUGE CHANGES! A different man to what he had become, I’m starting to look at him as the man I had married so long ago. The depression has lifted."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Robyn from Parkdale, Victoria
"I have noticed that Brian is able to control his temper a lot more, he is a lot more patient, and a much happier person to be around. He also listens to myself and the kids a lot more."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Natalie from Mt Eliza, Victoria
"He has continued to control is anger. It has now been 20 weeks without holes in the wall."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Sandra from Ferntree Gully, Victoria
"Deals with situations more rationally."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Leanne from Port Melbourne, Victoria
"He is calmer now; he still does blow off but will easily walk away and now knows how to manage himself."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Gayleen from Pakenham, Victoria
"He is much more considerate and I think he may have stopped 'playing mind' games with me."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Jodie from Essendon, Victoria
How would you describe this course to another person who was thinking of doing it?
"If you want to change, this is the place to do it."
"The course is definately worth doing. It has helped with our relationship ad helped to make us bother happier people."
"I had a husband who was an angry BARSTARD! Now I have a husband who listens, who talks to me and tries to fix our and his problems. I think all men should be made to do this."
"It’s a course that not only the man can benefit from but so can the rest of the family. Firstly because of less/no more fighting and/or abuse and the partners can use the strategies learnt by the men."
Phase 1 Term 1 2007 - Anonymous
"Helps in every facet of life; Home life gets better and better. Strategies for work, dealing with people becomes easier. Hostilities less."
Phase 1 Term 1 2007 - Anonymous
"This is life changing! It is worth all the time and effort to get to. If you are serious about your family give this a go. It is one of the best things that has happened to us in a long time."
Phase 1 Term 3 2007 - Kate from Warrigul, Victoria
"Well worth it, will strengthen your relationship and help with communication."
Phase 1 Term 3 2007 - Marie from Epping, Victoria
"A new lease of life. A breath of fresh air in the relationship A reason to be hopeful."
Phase 1 Term 3 2007 - Pia from Burwood, Victoria
"It is an ideal vehicle for making men to live up to their responsibilities."
Phase 1 Term 3 2007 - Mary from Wantirna, Victoria
"I believe for every woman who finds herself in my situation, which seems never ending, would appreciate their partner doing this course. Baby steps but hopefully with time it will happen."
Phase 1 Term 3 2007 - Kylie from Wonthaggi, Victoria
"This course requires commitment from any person wanting to do it. It requires commitment to change. Its hard work it’s challenging and you may to do it more than once. But it is life changing!"
Phase 2 Term 1 2007 - Anonymous
"Educational for abusive people make them accountable for their actions and what they have to do if they ant a better quality of life."
Phase 2 Term 1 2007 - Anonymous
"Brian has learnt to acknowledge when his anger is building up, and is now able to control it. He has also learnt to see things from mine and others point of view.
I would definitely recommend this course to someone thinking of doing it. Even if they don’t think their situation is bad enough to attend the course; give it a go anyway. You will definitely get something out of it. Also being involved in a group helps a lot, with confidence, self esteem and talking.
The guys become great mates."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Natalie from Mt Eliza, Victoria
"Highly recommend it. It is worthwhile for the entire family, not just for them. Not as difficult as what he thought it would be."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Robyn from Parkdale, Victoria
"Very good, positive influence helps you evaluate yourself and your situation."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Leanne from Port Melbourne, Victoria
"If they are ready to do it, it is a life changing experience. The change was unbelievably fast and has continued."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Sandra Ferntree Gully, Victoria
"Excellent for making men aware of what 'abusive Behaviour' actually is and excellent for giving them tools to control their behaviour."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Jenny from Officer, Victoria
"This program can be a very sobering experience. It is worthwhile. Anything worthwhile is already worth a little extra effort."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Gayleen from Pakenham, Victoria
"We had tried everything before this program; my husband had seen counsellors, psychologists, doctors and nothing worked. He went to another program which was a lot closer to where we lived and was half the price but after 5 weeks he was complaining how boring it was and how he wasn’t getting anything out of it. He soon gave up. I was referred to Heavy M.E.T.A.L from a family friend. Though it was far away, it was worth the travel! I strongly encourage anyone who is serious about making change and wants to save their relationship to make the trip and go see David. He won’t disappoint you!! Thanks David I can’t believe Tony has completed the whole 28 weeks."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Helen from Coburg, Victoria
How would you describe the program to other women who are thinking of getting their partner to do the program?
"Your partner needs to want to do this program for themselves. Your partner needs to be committed to changing because they themselves want to change.
My marriage was on the road to being over but my husband stuck with this program for over a year now and we are finding each other again. Our future is bright and I feel safe and proud of him. The Heavy M.E.T.A.L program is the key-your partner will learn how to use this key to make important and profound changes."
Phase 1 & 2 2006, Phase 2 Term 1 2007 - Anonymous
"My partner has never been physically abusive and I have never feared for my safety. However I was not happy with our relationship. Since he attended the course he has realised that his emotion shut out can be just as harmful and damaging to our family. With this new understanding he is on his way to learn how to be more in touch and hopefully this will result in a more rewarding family life for us all."
Phase 1 Term 1 2007 - Anonymous
What was the most significant thing you feel your partner got out of the program?
"Self-awareness, self-regulation, strategies for change, education on the cycle of violence. An understanding of how his abuse impacts on his partner and the relationship."
"He listens to me more, he is able to control his anger a lot more, he doesn't yell at me or others as much therefore making him, myself, and others around him happier people."
"Honesty about who his was and how he treated us in the past. And that it doesn't take much to change for the better."
"Communication - which will help us to teach our children how to go about problem solving. Feelings - how they affect our emotions/behaviour. Strategies - to be able to cope with problems."
Phase 1 Term 3 2007 - Marie from Epping, Victoria
"Being able to control his sudden outburst of absolute temper and intense anger."
Phase 1 Term 3 2007 - Kate from Warrigul, Victoria
"A video that was shown during the program was an eye opener for Kevin. He said he saw himself for the first time."
Phase 1 Term 3 2007 - Kylie from Wonthaggi, Victoria
"Genuine support and tools for change."
Phase 1 Term 3 2007 - Pia from Burwood, Victoria
"This course was an eye opener as to the extent of his abuse."
Phase 1 Term 3 2007 - Jacki from St Kilda, Victoria
"He now apologizes; he is taking more responsibility for his behaviour and to make me feel safe."
Phase 2 Term 1 2007, Anonymous
"It has offer support and a safe space to explore his darker side. The group work has given my husband the type of support he has never had before. It has allowed him to face his demons and has allowed this to be ok. This is a positive program for all men wanting to get more out of life and for those around them. Nothing venture; nothing gained!"
Phase 2 Term 1 2007, Anonymous
"He regained his daughters trust. Is able to talk to me (his wife)."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Robyn from Parkdale, Victoria
"Brian was a bit hesitant at first about talking in a group of people, but after this he has found listening to other people who are in a similar situation, was quite helpful."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Natalie from Mt Eliza, Victoria
"He controls his anger and thinks before he acts."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Sandra from Ferntree Gully, Victoria
"Realised some of his behaviour and learned how to control it better."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Leanne from Port Melbourne, Victoria
"He learnt to deal with his anger."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Jenny from Officer, Victoria
"He is the one who needs to want to change and he is the one real person that can achieve the change he desires."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Gayleen from Pakenham, Victoria
"He allows me to talk with out interrupting and talking over me. I find we are not yelling at each other like we use to."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Helen from Coburg, Victoria
Has your feelings of safety changed since your partner has attended the group?
"I feel the safest in five years. As a result of the process of self discovery that my husband is experiencing due to his involvement with this program, he has given up smoking dope and drinking. Drinking was a big issue for him in regards to being a trigger for abusive behaviour. He now describes himself as a non drinker. Who would ever have thought!"
Phase 2 Term 1 2007 - Anonymous
Any other comments you would like to share...
"We communicate so much better now. There's less tension and more friendship. I'm so proud of fim for taking responsibility for and control of his life."
"I would like to thank David for all the help and support he has given to (my partner) and myself during this course."
"This is the first year in 5 years I didn't cry on my birthday or Christmas - I enjoyed my husbands company, our kids enjoyed having an improved great Dad. Well done David. I didn't think anyone could ever change him. But you did!"
"My partner has done anger management courses before but never really got much from them and never really used them for what they are for. But this one was different because He said this one was different because it was for his kids and family. He liked the way the course was run and who it was run by. So thank you, both myself and especially my partner have got a lot from this course and it has played a big part in our family living a normal life with out the “dramas”. Thank you!"
Phase 1 Term 1 2007 - Anonymous
"The things my partner learnt: e.g. Time Out, were explained to me by him so I could also use it. It makes it easier to have discussions and disagreements because we are both thinking in a similar way. We each now call a Time Out and understand and respect each other when we do so."
Phase 1 Term 1 2007 - Anonymous
"Faith, Hope and Support. Start with baby steps to get a life time of change. Thanks David!"
Phase 1 Term 3 2007 - Kylie from Wonthaggi, Victoria
"Thank you for your great assistance with the important aspects of our relationship."
Phase 1 Term 3 2007 - Susan from Langwarren, Victoria
"The improvement so far has been immense. I want this to continue for him and his family. I feel he needs this group to continue to learn and grow. He is also talking about making friends in the group. This is a rarity. Thanks again David."
Phase 1 Term 3 2007 - Debbie from Garfield, Victoria
"This course may seem costly financially but it’s well and truly worth it for a much improved relationship in marriage, family and beyond."
Phase 1 Term 3 2007 - Pia from Burwood, Victoria
"If you are committed to changing; really committed! Then this 28 week program is a must! Stick with as my husband has, and life opens up new and wonderful doors of opportunity – you will become a better man!"
Phase 2 Term 1 2007 - Anonymous
"If you want to be aware and change the ways you are stuck in then this program is for you, your partner and your children."
Phase 2 Term 1 2007 - Anonymous
"Steve has come along way since completing Phase 1 & 2 . Since leaving the program, he has maintained the positive changes. I have not felt threaten or unsafe. We talk openly about our issues and Steve is able to articulate his issues- he is the first one to pull himself up when feels he did not handle a situation well."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Karli from Bentleigh, Victoria
"We did over a year in counselling and it improved our relationship 10% to 20%. He has completed 20 weeks with David and it has improved our relationship 80% to 90%."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Sandra from Ferntree Gully, Victoria
"Life really isn’t that bad. If you feel it is, then have the courage to ask for help. Heavy METAL has already done all the hard work for you in research. Trust them you only have one life!"
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Robyn from Parkdale, Victoria
"Good all round course for all men to deal with day to day problems and families better."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Leanne from Port Melbourne, Victoria
"For him being able to listen and share with others in a group like this was fantastic, It was the most daunting and most exhilarating moments he has spent with strangers who came together while helping each other."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Gayleen from Pakenham, Victoria
"Brian was a bit hesitant at first about talking in a group of people, but after this he has found listening to other people who are in a similar situation, was quite helpful."
Phase 2 Term 3 2007 - Natalie from Mt Eliza, Victoria
