Here are just a few of our participant's responses
“I think more before I react; I have a greater respect for women now. Also I understand if I don’t make changes within myself, how can I expect my children to act any differently.”
“My wife tells me she and the kids are not walking on eggshells when I come home from work since I have been attending the group...”
“You have to be willing to do it and prepared to change. If you have the courage to give it your best shot and meet other men with the same problem you come out a winner...”
“I believe that this program is invaluable for men who realize that domestic violence is destroying both themselves and their families and who WANT to remedy the situation.”
"The program saved my relationship and my family. In the course men dealt with not just physical abuse but also verbal abuse, their total attitude towards the way they treated other people. I did not realize I had taken on traits from my father. Since I completed Phase 1, I have never felt happier in my life. For the first time in 38 years, I have enjoyed Christmas with my family. I encourage any man that looses his temper to do the Heavy M.E.T.A.L program. I am looking forward to the Phase 2 level."
Steve from Frankston, Victoria
"I feel it is a great program and it is great that men can get together and talk over issues affecting men. I like being able to speak freely about my feeling and thoughts with the other guys and I know I am not going to be judged. This program certainly helped me make change and understand the confusion I had inside my head."
John from Morington Pennisula, Victoria
"Dave, Thanks again for your assistance with my life.
I use your techniques in dealing with day to day issues every day. Its amazing how my life can change so much. My children aren't afraid anymore. I can reason with them now. I can explain things to them without just telling them off with that loud voice. I think before I act. I think before I speak. I can listen to others when I usually did not.
I have learnt to respect other peoples feelings and show my feelings as well.
It has been hard and uncomfortable and still is. Its like I have two personalities the old and the new. The old is quick to react. The new is take my time think the issue through and don't thought stack.
Some responses from my family are :
Gee dad your fun now.
More laughter in the home.
More talking even to the point where my children are saying that we talk a lot now.
Can you believe that your course has given me the strength to stop drinking and realise the damage that has caused, stop smoking 60 smokes a day with no other assistance like nicobate etc and get my health back. Why ? Because my life is back on track. Before, I really didnt care if I lived or died.
The patterns of anger were showing through to my children. I think I have been able to turn my life around just in time for them to learn new ways of dealing with issues that hurt them while they can still learn quickly.
Without you this cycle would have continued through to my children and their children. When you look at the big picture you have done a great service to me, my family and the community as a whole.
Congratulations for a one stop service that has changed my life, and the lives of everyone around me."
John from Morington Pennisula, Victoria.
"I didn't want to do this program, but my wife said if I don't she is leaving. Over the last 24 weeks, I have learnt more about life in so many ways. I have recognised my negative feelings and thoughts have been feeding my anger. I did not know I was expressing this anger in an abusive violent way. I have learnt to express myself in a way not to hurt others and most of all I now believe in myself. Thanks to David and the facilitators of the program, my wife and I are the happiest we have ever been"
Bill from Berwick, Victoria
What would you tell someone whose partner is asking them to do this program and be hesitant about doing it?
As long as you are honest with yourself and not afraid of any stigma, the program will change your life. You will develop a close bond with a group of men who want to improve their relationships. You will gain insight and knowledge that you could not possibly acquire on your own. Sharing experiences with pears that I would not otherwise have anything in common is a great experience.
Lionel Phase 1 term 2 2010 from Berwick
The program, has provided the following insights for me: “I have choices in life”(we all have life). Behaviour change is up to me. I need to take responsibility and acknowledge the impact of my behaviour on my family and friends. Behaviour change is definitely possible!
Dean Phase 1 Term 2 from Malvern
This has been the best thing I have done (apart from getting married). This stuff is real and change is real if you be honest with yourself. There is no judgement; you really can work on sensitive topics. The first step is the hardest but that is the step to change. David Tanya and Jacquie are fantastic and you can count on them for giving you valuable advice and guidance.
Ryan from Chelsea Heights Phase 1 Term 2 2010
Definitely give it a go as you don’t know what you really like in yourself until you things pointed out to you. Good to join in discussion with others who are in the “same boat”. Stick at it, as it will take a few sessions to fall in to place, but when it does, “WOW”! Read all the literature given out especially any books recommended.
Glen from Yarra Glen Phase 1 Term 2 2010
If at anytime you have questioned yourself whether the way you handle things could be improved or just that there must be a better way of living for you and your family you should have already done this program. Good thing is! It’s never too late to change!
Preston Phase 1 term 2 from Cranbourne
I would strongly encourage you to do this. Look at it from behaviour change point of view if anger management does not sit comfortable. Do all of the Phase One. You will not regret. How much is your relationship worth? If you say you are prepared to do anything – then do it. You will learn great tools.
Michael Phase 2 Term 2 2010 from Drouin.
Don’t waste time. Life is to short. This will open your horizons and remove the blinkers. It did for me!
Hunchy Phase 2 Term 2 Longwarry
I seriously recommend it! As someone who cane from a family where a short fuse was vital and communication skills did not exist, I found it it extremely helpful in understanding how hurtful it can be to my family without being physically violent. It has certainly the best thing I have done to get in touch with my self.
Andrew Phase 1 term 2 2010 from Bundoora
At this stage I have only done three sessions and I am looking forward to the new term. It can really have a positive affect in every aspect of your life i.e work, social and family life. You feel a lot less stressed as you will learn not to argue and take ownership of your behaviour.
Luke Phase 1 Term 2 2010 from Moonee Ponds
If you are hesitant about the program, we all were! It is not that you have nothing to lose; you have everything to gain-it’s a rewarding time that benefits not only you, but your family and friends. It is a life time changing time that you control if you chose to do so.
Steve from Beaconsfield (Phase 1 2010)
Do it! It’s awesome! You learn more about yourself and how you treat others. It is a wake up call. I believe it should be compulsory in secondary schools. Thanks Dave
Mario from Narre Warren Phase 2 Term 2 2010
Level one taught me what to look out for. It gave me new tools to recognize the affect of my behaviour on others. Phase 2 taught me how to handle situations positively which I never knew about. I have learnt to respond instead of reacting. I understand my wife is not attacking me, she is only trying to express her perception and that’s ok! I am coming back for more.
Leigh from Dandenong Phase 1 2008 and phase 1 and 2 2010
How would you describe this course to another person who was thinking of doing it?
"Do It! It’s a great program for understanding emotions and reactions and how to control them."
Adrian from Brighton - Phase 1 Term 3 2007
"Do it! Initially I thought I was in the wrong place, that there was nothing I could learn from this type of forum-some discussion, some issues seemed not to be relevant. But! Some other components are very worthwhile. The program is in someways relevant to everybody (male and female!) I believe the course has allowed me to be more receptive to others input."
Richard from Coburg - Phase 1 Term 3 2007
"Encourage them to do it. They will get a lot out of this program. It’s well worth the money and time."
Michael from Gembrook - Phase 1 Term 3 2007
"I would say if you really love her/them then ask yourself: Do you want to change? Do you want to be respected by your family? You might think you are respected but like I found they were scared to say otherwise. I would also say, you might think you are a great couple. I thought we were, we had our normal ups and downs. The fact is we are still together because I got off my ass and tried to make a change and she respects me for that although I have my days when I am still abusive. She knows it is a long road and supports me because I am trying. My daughter is even cheekier and relaxed around me because I am not so grumpy these days, she also supports what I am doing with this program. It’s great! Give it a go! It’s your ego not your family which will stop you."
Steve from Bentleigh, Victoria - Phase 2 Term 3 2007
"Believe in yourself! It takes guts to admit you have a problem."
Darryl from Pakenham, Victoria - Phase 2 Term 3 2007
"Pick up the Bloody phone! It was the best move I ever made!"
Scott from Cranbourne, Victoria- Phase 2 Term 3 2007
"This program will teach you to listen and understand your partner, your feelings and learn ownership and self control."
Darryl from Pakenham, Victoria - Phase 2 Term 3 2007
"Loved It! The results at home have been amazing I am cable of accepting who I was and what that meant and did to others. I am now a man who thinks about others and who makes choices because of that. Get over yourself and just do it! You have choices. If you truly love your partner and Kids you will find a way to do this. It may be uncomfortable but denial and blame are not going to help. This is the course to do if you want to stop your abuse, recognise its affects and to make the choice to change."
Brett from Langwarren, Victoria - Phase 2 Term 3 2007
What did you like most about this program?
I like the change I am starting to see in myself and my time with my wife. I want to learn how to communicate better with my whole family to enjoy them more (and vice versa).
Steve from Beaconsfield (Phase 1 2010)
I am not the alone and I am growing into a better person. I should have done this along time ago. I really am appreciative of the person who gave me David’s contact details.
Sam Phase 2 2010 from Hallam
I felt good in talking about my problems where as in a normal situation I would keep things to my self. Developing a real bond with men who face similar problems to me was very helpful. Lionel Phase 1 term 2 2010 from Berwick